Holiday Gift Guide!
100% Amazon free!
I know your inbox is clogged with gift guides featuring $3000 vibrators or whatever, but I thought I would pass on a few gift recommendations. Also I know a lot of people are trying to rely less on Amazon dot com for their shopping needs since it became the Evil Empire in terms of labor relations and almost everything else, so this gift guide is 100% Amazon free! Let’s get started, shall we?
For The Hippy Dippy Friend
Back to the Roots Mushroom Kit ($19.99 from World Market)
Are you a big fan of the film Phantom Thread? Then do we have the gift for you! Channel that weird sexual energy into poisoning your family and friends with these homegrown mushrooms! OK so presumably these are not poisonous mushrooms but there’s only one weird way to find out!
California Field Atlas by Obi Kaufmann ($45 at The Last Bookstore)
If you know anyone who is taking even a short road trip around California this book is the perfect gift. The book has beautiful illustrations of California’s topography and comes complete with illustrated wildlife guides. According to reviews on the Website That Shall Not Be Named, this is an interesting read even for those who do not live in California.
California Plants: A Guide to Our Iconic Flora by Matt Ritter ( $19.25 available direct from publisher)
If you are like me then “What kind of tree is that?” is a phrase you utter almost weekly while roaming around the state of California. Well you can stop asking your one friend who took a botany class in college, because this book offers a colorful guide to California’s native flora. Also, that tree you are looking at is probably an oak. It’s always an oak.
For parents or parents-to-be
On Becoming Babywise ($10.44 available at babywise.life)
This book is legit. I speak from experience when I say we followed the feeding schedules in this book and our newborn baby started sleeping more hours at night right when the book said he would. He has been sleeping through the night completely since like 10 or 11 weeks. It is geared more towards the two-parent household, though, and is a bit hokey, but if you know a sleep deprived parent of an infant I don’t think they will care. This includes feeding and sleep schedules for 0-24 months. They also have toddler books but I can’t personally recommend them yet.
Mabel’s Labels Baby Bottle Labels ($24 at Mabelslabels.com)
This is actually a good gift for anyone who needs a washable label for bottles, food containers, etc. The baby bottle labels are customizable with the baby’s name pre-printed on the label. They stay on even when you wash the bottles in the dishwasher and steam sterilize. There is also a place to write the date with a dry erase marker if you are dealing with highly perishable formula or breast milk. If you or someone you know works in an office that encourages labeling your re-usable food containers these may work for that.
For your super cool friends or maybe yourself
Fila Bomber Jacket ($110 available at fila.com)
This is definitely an item I would see while shopping for others and decide I had to buy it for myself, gift budget be damned. Those on my gift list would probably be happy with Bath and Body Works hand sanitizer instead, right?
Kron’s Truffles ($45 at Dianekron.com)
Initially I was dubious of the claim that these were Jackie Kennedy’s favorite truffles, assuming she subsisted mostly on air, cigarettes, and large sunglasses, but the claim is apparently true according to blurbs in newspapers at the time. These are indeed the real deal. If you have them shipped (also available at their Beverly Hills storefront) they come with A LOT of free samples. They also now offer vegan solid chocolate bars https://www.dianekron.com/shop/bars). Don’t worry, I’ll pick some up in the name of research and report my findings.
3 Month Cookie Subscription from The Milk Jar ($86 at The Milk Jar - 5466 Wilshire Blvd. Los Angeles, California 90036 OR available for shipping nation wide)
I used to work a stone’s throw from The Milk Jar storefront on Wilshire and it’s a charming locally owned shop with actual home made cookies. My favorite is the classic chocolate chip and white chocolate macadamia nut. After vowing to never feature gluten free cookies, they now feature a couple of gluten free options.
Ridiculous Gifts
Isaia Men’s Track Suit ($1,151at Nieman Marcus)
Listen, I love a good track suit and this one is pretty good. Is it $1150 good? I’ll leave that up to you. I would like to up the ridiculous factor by pointing out only the smallest sizes are still in stock. Perhaps the perfect gift for your very small friend or relative.
White Cable Knit Sweater for a Baby That is Similar to But Not Identical to the One Worn By Chris Evans in Knives Out ($34.95 at Baby Gap)
Do you want your baby to look like a prep school drop out in a murder mystery? The only reason I have this under the “ridiculous” heading is the price. My baby grows so fast I can’t justify spending more than $15 on any one item of clothing. A similar one for grown men can be found at LL Bean. If you haven’t seen Knives Out stop reading this and go see it!
Storm Trooper Special Edition 6qt. Instant Pot ($99.95 at William Sonoma)
I’m pretty sure you can get this size Instant Pot literally anywhere else for less money, but my question is was there a large market of people who wanted to make pot roast super fast but only in a device depicting a space nazi? Also, shouldn’t it be in the shape of the helmet? There are no reviews of this item on the William Sonoma website which is really disappointing because I have QUESTIONS.
Gucci Chenille Flower Track Jacket ($4,200 at Gucci.com)
Gucci has pretty much cornered the market for ridiculous track suits and this one is pretty good. The price does not include the matching pants which are $3,500. Seems like a lot of money for a garment I would still Chipotle on once per month like clockwork but you can’t really put a price on comfort.
I seriously have like 10 more gifts to talk about but then I will never get this damn thing out. Instead, please enjoy a picture of my beautiful son with Santa:
Happy Holidays!